home to me

the truth's come out at last
we are both living for our past
in every face we see
a reflection of what could be
if you'd come back
pull out a suitcase and quickly pack
throw in your shoes, your clothes, your heart
so we no longer have to be apart
our souls connect over seas
so who exactly are you trying to please?
this isn't some 17th century movie
where forbidden love can never be free
so baby
pack you bags and flea
back on home to me

Block

I stare at the window wondering why
Sometimes this life feels like a big lie.
Something's not right
Uncomfort creeps in again tonight.
A square block for my circle soul.
What am I trying to squeeze into my God-shaped hole?
Boys, parties, jobs, friends
Ever-turning that square, it never ends.
One of these days I'll find that block
Then maybe, just maybe, my heart will finally unlock

wall

falling for flattery
letting him in
again
another mistake
stupid girl
add another brick
to your wall
build it up
almost there
don't call
don't cry
don't care
he'll do it again
and so will you

some things you should know...

I'm continally haunted by my past.
I'm scared that all good things don't last.
I try hard to be a good Christian,
But I'm easily blinded by the rush of rebellion.
I'm a good girl at heart,
But I've got a long shadow on the side of me dark.
When I look at my glass, it's usually half gone,
But please don't take this all wrong
For there's nothing better than the warmth of my sun,
And I'm always up for anything fun.
I tilt my head back when I laugh
Because it opens my heart to the joys on life's path.
I pause on my runs to smile at the beautiful day
And often wonder exactly I could ever say
How much I love my friends and family.
I try to show them what they mean to me
Through my simple words and attempts at grace.
All in all, my world's a sunny place,
But keep eyes open for the few black clouds
Cuz it's hard to see my sun when I'm covered in my shroud.

Ms. Teacher

You wear me out
I don't wanna scream and shout
But you make me mad!
And sometimes oh so sad.
This job's a roller coaster ride
With extra work on the side.
Why oh why did I pick this career?
I know - for the ever-tasting better beer.
No, I know the right reasons
Even though days change like seasons.
It's for the sparks in their eyes
When they finally become wise.
The sheepish grin on their face
When they know they're out of place.
It's for doing what's right
Even if money's always tight.
It's for staying forever young
And learning to hold my tongue.
These words I'll repeat
When I want to kick them into the street.
My patience and sanity they'll test,
But in the end, it's all for the best.

Say you're my bird

Say you're my bird
And I'll be yours too
For there's no one I'd rather fly with than you.

Say you're my bird
So we can anywhere build a nest
On a foundation of friendship and happiness.

Say you're my bird
And together we'll fly
Hand in hand to the open sky.

Say you're my bird
And make my heart smile
Because I can see us together
in a long, long while

Say you're my bird
And forever we'll be
Because in your soul lies a reflection of me.

Race

Girls - why are we so crazy?
Always wanting what probably shouldn't be.
The harder we chase
The faster you race.
Lengthen the stride and gasp for air
Cuz your smile is more than we can bear.
We'll exhaust ourselves for the boy
Who views us merely as his toy
While the nice guy gets left in the dust.
Seems like the race is run for the victory of lust.
But our victory we'll defend
Until the sorrowful end.
Until we realize finally:
The race for lust isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Banana Pancakes

Wait til it bubbles
At just the right time
Watch your heat -
Can't get too high
Flip too soon
And they're gooey inside
Flip too late and
To a crisp they're fried.
It's amazing that such a simple plan
Can so easily turn
To tragedy in a pan.

Bored

The simple life...
How nice it was.
But how quickly I find
Something missing.
Long for that buzz
The high from parties and new guys
So when I get bored with you
It's really no surprise.
My life has been spent
Always wanting something more.
From guy to guy I'll jump
To simply end up bored.
Living a pretend life -
Being whatever girl you want
Whether it be maid, beer-bitch, or wife,
I'll play along for you
Because who knows what it is that I really want,
And after all, it's too hard to choose.

Crash and Burn

Alright baby, what do we do?
I'm 23, you're 32.
We're standing on a cliff, looking out into the blue.
Neither of us seem to have a clue.
If we jump, where will we land?
On our feet will we stand, hand in hand?
Or will we crash?
A jumbled mess from a decision so brash.
I'm so scared
To take to the open air,
And yet it calls me
To be a bird, spread my wings, and be free.

Crazy Bitch

My predictions were right
You found out Saturday night
That I'm a crazy bitch
With an uncurable itch
For something that can't be satisfied
By a simple, nice guy.
I can't stand reality
And neither can my other personalities.
So I'm sorry we had to go and ruin
Someone who probably should have been a shoe-in

Faith

Beautiful word
Give all you have
Never ask in return
Cry through the heartache
But know it will get better
The rock inside
That pulls you through
The divine trust
Given without question or doubt
The steady calm
In the winds of the storm
The quieting voice
In a deafening world
The beautiful moment
When the sun hits just right
A comforting blanket
On a cold night
Its always there
You just have to trust
And open your eyes and heart
To the love of God above

"Run baby run"

"He sent me another message today"
I hear myself say
"Huh, well, what did he want?"
She asks with a grunt
"Not sure," I lied
Not exactly knowing what I hide.
"Just to know I'm his I guess
He's trying to keep me in his mess."
I'm trying to throw the blame
Dodging again the old, numbing pain.
She looks in my eyes
Knowing I'm trying hard not to cry.
"I had the dream again,
the one all about him"
She nods with understanding,
But in her position remains unbending.
Her eyes full of sadness lend
A soft caress to a wound she can't mend.
My unfixable pains have just begun
so she offers the best cure she can: to run.
"Run my daughter, and run hard"
Escape a heartache that's away so far,
Yet so near it's grasping at your heart.
A constant sadness that never parts.
Run, baby, run and don't look back.
Don't write, don't call, don't cut him slack.
Through sweat and tears you'll come
To the fact in point, he's not the one.
So look at me daughter, and run."

Shhh

I don’t talk about you
And I don’t really like to
You’re great, the best
There is no competition in the rest.
But I say it, it won’t be true;
Something will come out of the blue
And then I’ll have to explain
The terrible pain.
The people who once envied
Will now gloat in our greed
And my disaster
Will soon be plastered
Around the town.
So write this down:
Don’t share your happiness
It guarantees a mess.

In Man's Hands...

In man's hands we find all the answers...
The creation from dust;
the sweet pleasure of lust.
The erection of steel
to the pleading appeal.
The power held in wealth
and the sad frailty of failing health.
The gentle caress
with an edge of roughness.
The knuckles knotted in hate
around the band of love inscribed with a date.
All of his skill
in the grasp of a quill.
The nervous tapping;
the joyous clapping.
The sweat of hiding
to the gentle guiding.
If you look at his hands,
you watch his soul.
Who do they reach for?
For whom do they surrender?
Do you feel their touch, their sweetness, their grudge?
Pay close attention; for it's not hard to misjudge -
the worth of a man
lies truly in his hands.

Unseen

Peering into the great unknown
Wondering what's through the fog
Afraid to step forward
Into the unseen
Can't go back
Too messy, blurry, slipping back into nothing
Knowing one day she'll disappear if she turns around
Hot tears steam into cold air
White fog in the dark night
Rises and twists around her mind
The more she breathes, the foggier it becomes
Time to suck in the cold. Absorb the dark
Push forward, scared or not
Because sometimes it's scarier to fall backwards than it is to trip forward

"We'll be birds..."

It always ends with a lie
"We'll be bird, watch us fly!"
Right off our perch
And into the dirt
We had a good thing -
But all that serious talk about rings
Is always a curse
The needle that causes the balloon to burst
Oh no wait, that wasn't it
It was really because you're full of shit
You lied to my face, to my family, my heart
And had the nerve to question if I was doing my part.
"You're just so selfish," you'd always whine
When really it was you with yourself on your mind
Making up extravagant tales
All because you felt like you'd failed
Well, who really gives a fuck?
What did that even have to do with us?
Everyone told me to leave you alone
That there was something not right, something now shown
The sad thing is, I felt it too
But I let myself be blinded by your vision of you
Your lies, your creations, your ridiculous stories
I'd listen intently, silencing the voice shouting "Stupid, stupid Lori..."

Across the Sea

How do you know - across the sea
Just when it is to reach to me
At the end of every bad day
A message from you I can anticipate
Every time life just seems too much
You make my soul remember your touch
With some bullshit line
And a memory of when you were mine
For that second in time
Of a life sublime
A time simply existing in a world I don't know
A memory existing of an afterglow.
A smoldering ash
An image in my mind I just can't smash
The worst part is - is that I don't remember
Your face, your touch, your skin;
Just the illustrious warmth of content you wrapped me in
A blanket ripped away too soon -
You left me wandering in the new summer's noon