never me

why can i not wait
to see your face
i count down the days
like my life is one big race.
but then i think some more
and there's something that i store
why won't you claim me?
aren't i as pretty, as smart, as funny as she?
you know who i'm referring to,
the one with the hold over you
don't hide it or act like i don't know
because boy, i know exactly how it goes
is that why you won't call me girlfriend?
or say i love you when the conversation ends?
why aren't i enough?
why don't i qualify?
and why do i even take the time to wonder why?
i say it doesn't matter to your face
but there's a shadow that i can't erase.
why aren't my men proud to be with me?
they all wanna sleep with me, tell me i'm pretty, call me funny
but ultimately it's never me they're really with
it's never me in their profile pic.
are you just another one of them?
because i'm tired of being a toy for men
i say i'll be patient and give it time
for you to decide when to call me mine
but my patience is wearing thin
and i'm not very good at faking a grin
to cover up the hurt that stings
when i feel like i'm just a fling.
i know they say that actions speak louder than words aloud
but i need to hear you say that to be my boyfriend you'd be proud