doubt

you've come back
from a desolate place
to a life too full

you're thrown in the mix
with a vulnerable mind

you want to get married

am i the padding for your raw fears?
am i a quick fix for a pain you can't see?
am i a warm body after too many empty mornings?

i've spent the entire past year carefully dodging commitment
and you call me one night and throw it in my lap

were you too high?
too drunk?
too numb?

i doubt how you feel
i expect it to end one day
like a brick
out of the blue

it will land in my lap

my dichoto my

i feel connected to you
across this sky blue
and when i hear your voice
something tells me it's the right choice
you're just what i need
and we've planted a good seed
but there's the bird inside
who refuses to hide
reminding me that i've come so far
and have you really decided who you are?
it's my age old dichotomy
i find a boy who loves me for me
who loves my heart, my body, my home
but there's a pulling inside to stay on my own
i say i want to be a bird
and fly free around the world
but how can that be
when we decide to make it you and me?
what will happen to that dream?
i'm scared of what seems
to be a future back home
but i realize that i don't want to be alone
why do i feel that i'm sacrificing one life
for the other: to be your wife?
is that how it has to be
in order to have a you and me?