I know that we talk about this over and over
What should we do?
I moved for you, do you move for me?
Can I go back home again someday?
If I can't, can you stay here for me?
When are you coming? I need to know.
I bottle it up while we're out.
Pretend I'm ok while the couples around me laugh and play.
But I want you here. And I don't understand why you don't love me enough to do that for me.
We talk about how much we've grown up since college, but maybe I think I just bury more.
The emotions are still there, but they're paved over.
Responsibility and reality has smothered them into a soulless puddle.
I want you here. I'm tired of being alone.
I push friends away because I don't want to spend all day with them.
I want to spend all day with the person I feel the most comfortable with: you.
I miss being able to turn to someone who knows what I'm feeling without me explaining it.
I miss having that support waiting for me after a long day.
I miss having someone to laugh with and lean on.
There's a piece of my heart somewhere else, and it drains me.
It's getting really hard for me to understand how that person can also be the person who's so scared to move.
So scared to make a change.
How can the person that I love and miss and long for be a person who sometimes seems so different from me?
I don't understand how you view life so differently but yet blend so well otherwise.
How don't you see moving here and being with me as a wonderful adventure?
I love my friends, and I know you'd love them too, but you don't try.
You don't try to share this life with me; you don't want to.
Because of fear? Because of baseball? Because of friends?
But all of those seem to amount to the fact that the importance of me, of us, doesn't outweigh them.
My head throbs and I can't figure out why.
Maybe it's because I'm incessantly wishing for something I can't make come true.
Fairytales used to seem so incredible. As I grow older, I realize that dreaming about them isn't fun anymore.
Maybe it's because I spend all day trying to figure out someone I think I know.
But maybe I don't.
Because in my mind, my other half would do anything to make us whole.
